About a month or so ago, I learned a characteristic about myself that, apparently, everyone else in my life had already known, but never specifically stated. I have a big personality.
I learned of this personality characteristic while having a conversation with a co-worker (Levi), I was explaining how the previous day I had become overwhelmed at work because I had a video call with someone I have hardly spoken with over the three years I have worked with my company (Yani) and we were more or less arguing over how to cite a specific reference. After I was done explaining the situation to Levi, he simply stated “I am not surprised, you and Yani both have big personalities.” I was dumbfounded, not because I was upset by this potential personality characteristic but because as a woman of 28, I had never been described or described myself in this way before.
Since then I have talked with my best friend Rose, her boyfriend (Ivan), my teSince then I have talked with my best friend Rose, her boyfriend (Ivan), my teenage little sister (Mady), my current love interest (Niel), and many others who range from knowing me for decades to mere months and every single one has said (in some variation) “of course” or “absolutely.” In fact, Rose even said that she had said that before, but not in those exact terms. She’s always told me that when I walk into a room people notice me, that I’m a memorable person, and that I can come off as intimidating; but she had never specifically said that I have a big personality.
It blows my mind that I was unaware of a defining characteristic of how the outside world perceives me. But what this brought to light for me is the importance of language, the importance of definitions, and asking for clarification. I truly do not know something unless it is explicitly stated or if I take the time to backward map out a specific incident or group of incidents and even then my findings are more like a scientific hypothesis, always subject to change upon the review or release of new information.